09 September 2006

The Last Possible Reason for War With Iraq 2002-2006

Come to liberated Iraq - it's so bracing!Following the release of hitherto secret files in the United States of America, As A Dodo can reveal that the Last Possible Reason For War With Iraq was terminated with extreme prejudice by the Central Intelligence Agency last summer and secretly buried by the Bush administration.

The Last Possible Reason For War With Iraq was born to George Bush and Tony Blair in 2002, the youngest of several older Reasons for War With Iraq, including Weapons of Mass Destruction, Control of the Oil Supply and Cos It Looked At My Pint Funny, all of which had tragically died in early childhood. Despite this distressing background, The Last Reason refused to be deterred and, within months of its birth, it was leading American troops into war with a smile on its lips, a song in its heart and a wild and wholly false battle cry claiming Saddam Hussein was linked to Al Qaeda bellowing from its throat. Soon it was setting about its multiple tasks of distracting from the search for Osama bin Laden, alienating Islamic opinion and avenging the President's Pa with relish.

In the following years The Reason was to distinguish itself repeatedly in action against Senate Committees, the international intelligence community and common sense, repeatedly leaping to the lips of such luminaries as Colin Powell, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and, of course, the President himself, not to mention all employees of Fox News. Soon it became the rallying call of all those who believed strongly in prosecuting war in Iraq (from the safety of a sofa in America), enabling them to join together in building some of the greatest ahievements of the early twenty-first century, including the removal of civil liberties, increased surveillance of citizenry, heightened paranoia and the abandonment of the norms created by International Law and the Geneva Conventions. Despite these successes, however, The Reason was ultimately to fall in the summer of 2005 when, faced with multiple enquiries it was ultimately outgunned by the forces of the truth. Given its many sacrifices, it is perhaps little surprise that despite its defeat, its words are still to be found on the lips of the President almost daily.

The Last Reason is survived by Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and a reinvigorated Iran.