10 September 2006

Brief Lives: P Diddy 1992-2006

In another of our occasional series, we at As A Dodo bring you "Brief Lives" - short obituaries by our staff writers. Our first Brief Life follows the sad death of the P Diddy monicker ...

The last known picture of the gangThe music world is once more mourning the death of a major rap star. P Diddy has been killed following a dispute with major gangland figure K "Tattifilarious" Dodd over the right to use the "Diddy" name.

Police remain unclear over the precise sequence of events but it is understood Mr Combs was leaving the Grape and Firkin in Knotty Ash, Liverpool after enjoying a pint of IPA and a plate of scouse with friends, when he was attacked in a drive-by tickle-sticking. The assailants have not been positively identified but local rumour points to the involvement of Dodd's enforcers The Diddymen. The vicious gang - whose members include Mick the Marmalizer, Nigel Ponsonby Smallpiece, Wee Hamish McDiddy, Harry Cott and the notorious Dickie Mint - is wanted along with Dodd for a series of crimes during the 60's and 70's including arson at the Jam Butty Mines, a suspicious drowning at the Treacle Works and the 1965 number 1 single "Tears".

P Diddy is survived by Sean "Puffy" Combs. Mr Combs is currently being sued over the "Puffy" nickname by John Prescott.