26 December 2006

Boxing Day Feature: Ironic Deaths Down the Ages

In another of our Yuletide features, today As A Dodo gives a brief guide to some of the less glorious departures down the ages ...

  1. Chrysippus of Soli (c.280-c.207 BC) – the stoic philosopher died of laughter after getting his donkey drunk and watching it attempt to eat figs
  2. Attila the Hun (405-453 AD) – suffered a nosebleed but, too drunk to notice, drowned in his own blood.
  3. Francis Bacon (1561-1626) – died of pneumonia after trying to preserve a chicken by filling it with snow.
  4. King Bela I of Hungary (??-1063) - having defeated his own brother to claim the throne, Bela was crushed when the canopy of that very same throne collapsed on him.
  5. Pedro de Valdivia (c1500-1543) – the gold-obsessed conquistador breathed his last when South American Indians poured molten gold down his throat.
  6. Francois Vatel (1631-1671) – the great French chef committed suicide due to distress over the lateness of the fish course at a great banquet.
  7. Elisha Mitchell (1793-1857) – died after falling into the Mitchell Falls, named after their discoverer … Elisha Mitchell.
  8. Jim Fixx (1932-1984) – the greatest ever jogging guru keeled over while, er, jogging.
  9. Dr Robert Atkins (1930-2003) – the man behind the Atkins diet died weighing 258 pounds and suffering a long-term heart condition.
  10. Steve Irwin (1962-2006) – the TV conservationist once satirised on South Park as the guy who sticks his finger up the ass of assorted wildlife was killed after … er … pointing at a stingray

1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

Dr. Atkins died due to a head injury when he slipped on some ice. His weight gain in the hospital was due to edema.