Dodo News Alert: Jose Mourinho, Chelsea Manager 2004-2007

Chelsea FC fans, style-watchers and lovers of footballing mind-games are advised that As A Dodo has just been informed that Jose "The Special One" Mourinho's time as Chelsea Manager has passed away. The precise nature of Mr Mourinho's passing is as yet unclear, though those who in recent months have witnessed his rapid transformation from a grey-suited fashion icon and footballing mastermind into a grizzled figure in a tracksuit with all the footballing knowledge of an elderly high court judge (or, heaven forfend, Steve McClaren) believe that the cause was a polonium-enriched football delivered to the Chelsea manager in an armoured Zil following his failure to select Andriy Shevchenko for every match.

In the interim, those wishing to mourn Mr Mourinho are directed to this obituary for Jose Mourinho's Cool, which so sadly predeceased his passing as Chelsea manager earlier this year.