29 August 2006

iTunes 2001-2006

iTunes shiny coffinIt is with great sadness that As A Dodo must report the passing away of Apple Computer's iTunes software, following a sudden and wholly unexpected assault by a gang of vested interests led by a rival digital media player application known as Spiralfrog.

iTunes was born on January 9, 2001 at MacWorld Expo San Francisco 2001, in a time when organising a record collection meant not filing your Lauryn Hill next to N'Sync and the best way to store tracks on a computer was to use its top as a CD rack. Starting off as a humble program, slaving away for hour after hour in the blinding glare of countless iMacs, iTunes was quick to see a means to escape. Soon, it found its way out onto the streets at the head of a pitiless gang of iPods, intent on making money by selling highly addictive "music" to young and old alike, meanwhile viciously wiping out any rival media players that dared to enter its 'Hood. Before long, children as young as five or six were finding themselves signing on as confirmed iTuners and spending hours on end "plugged in", their minds wasted by a diet of easily selectable tunes organised exactly as they wanted.

With iTunes' influence spreading wider and wider, it was perhaps inevitable that it would come under attack from rivals. Soon it was facing attacks from old-established gangs like the Walkmen and the Creatives, along with would-be "gangstas" like the Microsoft Zunes. Refusing to take to hiding, iTunes continued to be seen on the streets every day, right up to its final attack by the upstart Spiralfrog, apparently high on advertising revenue.

iTunes was buried in a simple white coffin, which will need to be replaced on a bi-yearly basis in order to remain compatible, or sooner if the fascia cracks.